It is Hereby Declared that Grieving Animal Lovers have the Right:

To feel the pain of grief when the bonds with our pets are broken. The bonds we have with our companion animals are deep and strong; the pain we feel when those bonds are broken is real and worthy of our grief.

To feel shocked and overwhelmed by the intensity of our grief. Since our animals’ life spans are so much shorter than our own, it is inevitable that eventually we will experience the loss of our beloved animal companions. The grief we feel at such times can be far more intense than we ever expected, no different from that of losing another special family member or cherished friend.

To understand our grief reactions, feelings and behaviors as normal. Grief is a natural, spontaneous response to the loss of a significant relationship.

To express our grief in our own unique way, within our own time frame. The course of grief is unpredictable and uneven, with no specific time frame. How we express our grief will vary among individuals, but we all get through it in personally meaningful ways.

To have our grief recognized by others as significant and legitimate. Since grieving over animals isn’t generally accepted in our society, we may feel uneasy or embarrassed, as if we have no right to feel or express our grief because our loss is not significant enough. But we’re not grieving “just an animal.” Since we’re the only ones who know how much our animals meant to us, when they’re gone we’re the only ones who can measure how very much we’ve lost.

To feel supported by others in our grief. When our companion animals die, there are no formal, public rituals where we can express and share our sorrow, talk about our loss and obtain the sympathy and support of others. At the very time when we need to be with others who understand, we feel isolated and alone. We need to find someone with whom we can openly acknowledge our feelings, express and work through our pain, and come to terms with our loss.

To honor the memory of our pets in whatever way we see fit. To memorialize our beloved companion animals is to honor and acknowledge the important role they played in our lives, to bring comfort to ourselves and to help us keep their love and presence in our hearts. Among other things, we can memorialize our pets by writing about them, making an album or a scrapbook, planting a living memorial in our garden, having a meaningful memorial service, funeral or ritual, or making a donation to a charitable animal organization in our pet’s name.

Reposted from https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2012/10/a-bill-of...

Illustrated by Natalia Bzdak. (Source: https://bust.com/living/195637-sweet-hereafter-death-doulas.html)

You may be wondering what a death doula is—also referred to as an end-of-life coach, soul midwife, or transition guide. Much like a midwife assisting the birthing process, a death doula helps in the dying process. Death Doulas are called into care when a patient or family receives a terminal diagnosis. Typically they are a non-medical person trained to care for someone holistically at the end of their lives, while also helping families cope with death by recognizing it as a natural and essential part of life.

While doulas have existed since ancient times, death doulas are a relatively new and emerging movement. One of the first modern movements started in New York City in 2000, a volunteer program, later named “Doula to Accompany and Comfort,” began pairing doulas with terminally ill people. The program was funded by the Shira Ruskay Center of the Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services and NYU Medical Center. Today, there is a growing number of organizations that offer end-of-life doula services and certification programs. The movement largely remains unregulated, meaning there's no certifying body or overarching job description.

Death Doulas offer a wide range of spiritual, psychological, social, and logistical support, including memorializing, funeral preparations, memorial services, and guiding mourners in their rights and responsibilities. They often have extensive backgrounds in social work, hospice management, nursing, legal, and business administration. "There is a lot of medical support in dying, and there's some emotional support, as well, but I find that death doulas do a great job of tying it all together and having knowledge of a vast array of subjects," says Alua Arthur. Alua is the founder of Going with Grace, a death doula service that offers training and end-of-life planning. Ultimately, the type of care and support a death doula can provide is uniquely fit to each person based on their goals and needs.

To find a death doula near you or learn more, check out the resources listed below.

INELDA, the International End of Life Doula Association, offers an expansive list of resources, including end of life tool kits and starting guides, legacy resources, medical advanced care planning tools, and support, caregiver support, palliative care, and hospice, funeral, burial, and after death care, grief and bereavement, books, and podcasts.

Going with Grace offers death doula services, end-of-life planning, financial planning, and compassionate completions.

Lifespan Doulas an organization that trains and certifies end-of-life doulas.

NEDA, the National End of Life Doula Alliance, is a non-profit membership organization leading the rapidly growing end-of-life doula movement in the USA and beyond.

reimagine community resources is an online hub for all things end-of-life so people worldwide can find the essential resources they need, when (and even before) they need them.

Doulagivers certified end-of-life doulas are thoroughly trained in all three phases of end-of-life care.

Dogs, cats, and horses are the most common animals, however it’s also possible to cremate other animals such as hamsters, rabbits, birds, reptiles, and more.

Dog Cremation

Those of us who have dogs know what a special bond is established with our beloved canines. We come to think of them as one of our children.

Cat Cremation

Although they tend to go their own way at times and pretend to care less about what we do, people who have cats know what a loving bond can be established.

Horse Cremation

Even though you can’t cuddle one like a dog or cat, strong bonds are often created with horses. It sometimes takes a bit longer, but once you establish that bond, it’s intense as any other.

It’s surprising for some people to discover that they can cremate their horse.

Pet Crematoriums: What to Expect

At a crematorium, you will find much the same as in one for humans. It typically has a soothing atmosphere with staff that will have respect and sympathy for you.

Memorial Room: If you want to choose a particular urn, you may be taken into a room where they are displayed. They may offer urns, boxes, or jewelry.

You might also be able to get a better price for a memorial online. We’ll talk about this a bit later in the “What to do with ashes” section.

Business Office: If making prearrangements, you are likely to meet with a staff member in an office or other area to make all the necessary choices.

Cremation Room: This room is separate from the others and contains the cremation chamber. Some people are surprised and pleased at how clean and sterile this area is in most facilities.

Viewing Room– This is the room where you and other family members will sit or stand during a witnessed cremation.

The Cremation Process For Pets

There are crematoriums for both humans, animals, and some are for both, but regardless the cremation process is the same.

Many people want details of what will happen during the cremation process, such as how they will be treated and what happens.

Of course every crematorium is different however there will be a standard basic process.

The Cremation Chamber:

This is the compartment of where your pet is placed and where the actual cremation takes place. The body is subjected to temperatures ranging from around 1400 – 1800 degrees Fahrenheit.

How Long Does it Take?

The time to complete depends on the size of your animal. For instance, a cat or small dog usually takes less than two hours. A large dog or a horse can take a few hours.

What Happens During a Pet Cremation?

The intense heat vaporizes the organic matter and reduces it down to ashes and bone.

Any type of metal that was in or on the animal such as metal pins or a buckle on the collar is removed by hand or with a magnet.

The rest of the remains are pulverized to a gritty sand-like powder, which is white or gray in color.

Don’t be surprised or concerned if you see bright colors in the ashes. If they were bundled in a blanket or you left on the collar, this will account for the colors.

What Services Are Offered?

Private Cremation: Your animal is placed in a chamber that is separate from other animals. With private cremation, they guarantee that you receive only your pet’s ashes.

Witnessed Cremation: You are present at the time of the process. There will likely be a viewing area for you and anyone else who wish to witness. Many people feel that watching helps in the progression of the healing process.

Communal Cremation: This type is frequently chosen because the cost is generally lower than the others, sometimes even half the price. Your furry friend is placed into a chamber along with other animals.

All of the animals are cremated simultaneously and the ashes are pulverized together.

How Much Does Pet Cremation Cost?

Just like cremation prices for people, pet provider costs can vary depending on the facility and other factors. Below are some average costs.

Break down of prices:

Domestic Pets– $50 -$350, depending on the type of cremation and the weight of your pet.

The lowest cost would be for communal, with no return of the ashes. The highest is for private, with a return of the ashes. This frequently includes some extras like a basic container for the ashes.

Horses– $250 – $1,500 and up, depending on the weight, the area in which you live, and if pick-up is required. Whether it’s a communal without return of ashes or a private type with return of the ashes will influence the cost as well.

Extras:

Pick-up– If it’s outside business hours or on the weekend, the charge is typically around $30 – $45 for domestic pets. Outside a certain driving distance, usually 25 miles, the charge is also around $30 – $45.

Horse pick-up can cost up to $1,000, depending on the horse’s size and the distance from the crematorium.

Viewing– If you wish to view your pet’s cremation, there is typically an extra charge of approximately $20 – $30.

Urn– If you desire that the ashes are placed in an urn, they run from $50 – $1,000. You can buy an affordable one online for less than $100. (See below)

What to do with the Ashes

Wooden Pet Urn

Quite often people are unsure what to do with the ashes of their furry friend. Below are some ideas for ashes and what to.

Cremation Urns

Marble Pet Urn

Probably the most popular choice and affordable option for storing the ashes. Urns come in any number of sizes, styles, and prices.

Cremation Boxes

This is another container frequently seen displayed in someone’s home. In addition to wood, these boxes for ashes are also constructed in a broad variety of materials.

A Headstone:

 simple but sweet headstone that can lay in the garden is beautiful memorial for your lost pet. 

Jewelry & Keychains:

f you literally want to keep your pet’s memory close to your heart, there is no better choice than a necklace with either a small amount of the remains placed inside.

Keychain Keepsakes

Another way of keeping your precious pet with you is by putting some of the ashes into a keychain specially made for that purpose.

Most types of jewelry can be purchased or made with your pet’s ashes such as bracelets, rings, ankle chains, and many more.

Burial

It’s the choice of many to bury the ashes of their pet. In many cases, this is done on the family’s property.

This enables the family to visit their pet whenever they like, which can aid in the grieving process.

If you’re looking to bury, a biodegradable urn or even an urn tree are both great options.

Scattering Ashes

Some people feel that scattering the ashes symbolizes sending their loved one on their final journey.

The place for scattering is a personal preference. You may choose to scatter at sea, in a park, or even in Space. For scattering in water, we always recommend using a water urn.

How to Find a Cremation Facility

here are several ways of locating a pet cremation facility. One of the most common places is through your veterinarian, who usually will be able to recommend a reputable crematorium.

Animal Shelter

Your local animal shelter is another place that is very accustomed to this situation. They should be able to put you in touch with a facility.

Online Directories

In addition, there are websites where you can search for places by state.

Pet Cemetery

Furthermore, if you have a pet cemetery in your area, you may be able to find a cremation facility by contacting them.

If there are no pet crematoriums in your area, many regular crematoriums include services for your pet as well.

Frequently Asked Question About Pet Cremation 

Burial or cremation: What should I choose for my pet?

Of course the decision of cremation vs burial is a personal preference. With burial, you will have a gravesite that you can visit often. However, you can choose cremating and still bury the ashes. Many people choose it because it is more environmentally friendly and cost effective. In addition, if you move away, you can take your pet’s ashes with you.

What if your pet dies at home?

If they die at home, most pet crematories have a 24-hour pick-up service and will usually return the ashes to you within a few days. If you have not made pre arrangements, you may be able to leave your pet at your veterinarian office for a few days if you need some time.

Have I received the correct cremains?

Most crematories offer private cremation, which guarantees that your pet is placed into a separate chamber alone and then cremated. Furthermore, in order to ensure you receive only your pet’s ashes, some people choose a witnessed cremation in order to view the process.

Do I need a casket for my pet to be cremated?

No, you don’t need to have a casket or other cremation container for the cremation as a rule. At most facilities, you can wrap your pet in his or her favorite blanket if you wish. Nevertheless, if you do desire to have a casket, you can purchase one as long as it’s made with combustible materials.

Can my pet’s items also be cremated?

It depends on the particular crematory. Some do not allow toys to be cremated and some may allow a blanket made with natural fibers. Others do allow your dog’s favorite blanket and even leave on their collar. It depends on the environmental regulations in your area. Check in advance with the facility you choose.

What happens if my pet passes away at my veterinarian?

Although vets do not normally perform this service, they frequently have a relationship with a third-party facility that they can recommend. In most cases, your animal can be picked-up from your veterinary office.

Deciding on Pet Cremation

This guide is intended to relieve some of the pressure of making important decisions during your time of grief.

Losing your beloved pet can be a difficult time in your life. We hope to take some of the time and stress away when that time comes.

If you are experiencing a loss at this time or have in the past, we offer our heartfelt condolences.

Roses have an entire language of color all their own. Their funeral flower colors meanings are universal and quite well-known. Roses are for love, but they can also symbolize courage and respect. Think of ancient Rome, where the color red symbolized the strength and courage of the Empire.  Cremation urns not only provide a safe and peaceful resting place for your loved one, they are beautiful decorative pieces that house a lifetime of memories.

This elegant Memorial Wooden Box Cremation urn for ashes measures at 550 cubic inches. This urn can be used as a companion urn or for a single adult. 

Features

● Real, Solid Wood with Mahogany Finish
● Beautiful laser relief carved Rose Design
● Bottom opening attaches with screws.
● Bottom is lined with rubber feet to secure urn and prevent scratches.
● 8.5” W x 8.5” D, 9.5” H
● 550 Cubic Inches (approximate)

This Heritage

They are not dead,

Who leave us this great heritage

Of remembered joy.

They still live in our hearts,

In the happiness we knew,

In the dreams we shared.

They still breathe,

In the lingering fragrance windblown,

From their favourite flowers.

They still smile in the moonlight’s silver

And laugh in the sunlight’s sparkling gold.

They still speak in the echoes of words

We’ve heard them say again and again.

They still move,

In the rhythm of waving grasses,

In the dance of the tossing branches.

They are not dead;

Their memory is warm in our hearts,

Comfort in our sorrow.

They are not apart from us,

But a part of us

For love is eternal,

And those we love shall be with us

Throughout all eternity.

- Author Unknown

"Time heals all wounds"

why it may not be helpful:

- Things do tend to get better with time, but grief will always be a part of their life and story.

- It implies that time is all you need to be "better."

- Most people are not in a place to think far into the future after a difficult loss.

"You need to be strong for (insert person)." "Be strong."

why it may not be helpful:

- It implies that having emotions around grief isn't being "strong"

- It implies that showing your emotions is wrong and may harm someone.

"Death is part of life."

why it may not be helpful:

- Factually true, but doesn't make it feel any better.

- Grief is painful even if we know it's coming.

"Everything happens for a reason."

why it may not be helpful:

- A lot of death, especially traumatic loss, makes absolutely no sense.

- Sometimes there is no reason

- You are trying to quickly make sense of something that likely doesn't make sense to the other person.

"Come on be positive, they wouldn't want to see you sad."

why it may not be helpful:

- You likely don't know what their loved one wanted.

- You're silencing their emotional expression/experience.

"At least they lived a long life." "At least you knew it was coming." "At least, (insert anything you think is worse)."

why it may not be helpful:

- It negates the person's experience.

- It dismisses their pain.

- It implies that they don't have a right to be upset or should be less upset.

5 Simple Steps to Choose the right urn by Memory Urns

Memory Cremation Urns is committed to helping you choose the right urn at a comparable price, without compromising quality. Our selection comprises of urns only made from Natural Marble and Granite. It is beautiful, yet resilient standing the test of time. Due to the nature of Natural Marble and Granite no two vessels will be the same, just as we are all our own individuals. Celebrate and remember your loved one, with the elegance, beauty, and dignity they deserve.

Please email us at contact@memoryurns.com or call (877)281-0752 if you have any questions or need any help with the selection of a unique cremation urn. We understand this is a difficult time; we are here for you.

People usually buy an urn to store the ashes or a portion of ashes left after scattering, to create a warm memory of a loved one.

Purchasing a suitable cremation urn, though, may be quite distressing and overwhelming. Thus, keep the following tips in mind while choosing an urn to hold cremated remains that look like white or grey colored crushed sea shells. 

- Determine the size of the urn. You can consult a funeral home or crematorium to get a better estimate.      Usually, created remains weigh 3-7 pounds and require about 180-220 cubic inches capacity.

- Moreover, in case you have decided to place the cremains in a niche within a cemetery columbarium, check with the authorities there about the type and size of urns they allow in the niches.

- Select an appropriate urn depending on your decision regarding the final disposition of the ashes. For instance, if you are planning to display the urn at your home itself, look for attractive yet thoughtful funeral urns.

For instance, you can go for a nature-themed urn for a loved one who admired scenic beauty. Besides, you may select a religious, veteran, hobby, sports, infant (for holding the ashes of a child), or companion urn (for storing the cremains of a couple).

- Families often choose to keep a portion of the ashes after scattering the remains. So, you may buy a small keepsake or token urn to hold the remaining ashes.

- Take the quality into consideration and pick a material of your choice. Cremation urns are mostly made of wood, ceramic, granite, copper, bronze, brass, glass, porcelain, marble, etc.

- Thus, choose a material that suits you best. Wooden urns, for example, are not likely to be durable when displayed in an outdoor setting. Similarly, brass urns are not usually recommended for burial.

As cremation urns are available in a number of shapes and styles, their prices also vary tremendously. Thus, decide your budget and set a price range beforehand.